“When you share your best it’s a match made in heaven.” I heard this phrase in passing and it caught my attention. I thought to myself, “A match made in heaven… who wouldn’t want that! What was the first part again?”
“When you share your best.”
After thinking more about this I agreed whole heartedly. When you give your best you are actively choosing to be intentional. You are choosing to give your very best to something you recognize is valuable and worth your time. This is what needs to be applied to our most intimate relationships.
Today is Valentine’s Day and I am grateful to have spent the last fourteen years celebrating this day with my spouse. Not all of our Valentine’s were warm and fuzzy. Some were cold and prickly. But we passed through those seasons and we are better for it. Today I see that a healthy relationship starts with you. Are you first valuing yourself enough to love and protect you? Are you first celebrating you? Once you give yourself your best you can give to your partner. It’s a beautiful cause and effect. As I’ve gotten older I’ve realized the best way to get what I want is by first showing others the way I want to be treated. News flash! People can’t read your mind! And how you experience love may look different to others.
Another part of this is recognizing where and to who you are giving your best. In this season of my life most of my time and energy is dedicated to my children. They physically and mentally need more of my instruction and guidance. I give my first and my all to them. But what happens over time to my relationship with my spouse? I end up giving him my leftovers. And unfortunately, the leftovers are not only few they are a little stale. Sorry Honey! Thankfully, I can refill my heart tank by replenishing myself and starting again. But I first must recognize this. I must become aware of where I am devoting my time and love to. As you can guess, this is not easy as our children are masters of distraction.
As I’ve said many times, no relationship is perfect and every relationship will have it’s highs and lows, but the ones that can continue to celebrate Valentine’s Day are the ones that first share their very best with their partner after filling their love tank.
When my husband and I were struggling I thought to myself, “I am tired of being unhappy. It’s time to make a change. And that change starts with me. I need to be in love with myself first before I can love him.” Our relationship needed to be restructured to match the changes it was undergoing. Speaking for myself, those changes included adapting to motherhood, learning who I was outside of the mom and wife labels, and adjusting to working outside the home while managing my young son and our home. Without slowing down, we failed to recognize the massive changes our relationship were experiencing. We both were distracted by outside forces that took our gaze away from what really mattered – our relationship.
Regardless of your relationship status this Valentine’s Day, I hope you celebrate and love you first! When you show up for yourself and give yourself your best you’ll be able to share your best with your Valentine!
Happy Valentine’s Day!
To begin loving yourself more, I encourage you to read the following article from Healthline: 13 Steps to Achieving Total Self-Love. I found the article to be helpful and insightful.
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