Do you ever go back and read what you wrote? If I am honest, I do it all the time and each time I do I take something new away. Often times I view the writing as a past version of myself. I’ll think to myself, “What was I feeling when I wrote this? What was happening around me at this time?” Lately I’ve been telling myself, “Slow down, Joy. Reflect on this moment.” As you can imagine, I have a hard time doing this and if I was going to guess, you probably do too. I think this is why, as parents, when we look back at the time when our children were young we think, “Where did all the time go? My kids have grown up so fast.” I am convinced the reason we feel this way is because we never had time to stop and just be. Stop and just feel. Stop and just take it in. For better or worse, our lives are busy, loud, and messy. It’s hard to focus when your attention is being pulled in different directions.
Here is one example for you, when I am with my eight year old and two year old it’s as if I need two brains. My attention is being pulled in different directions all the time. I love both of my children with every fiber of my being, but they like to talk… a lot. My oldest child, Kenton specifically has a mind of his own and will blurt out any and every thought he has. Just this past week it was brought to our attention by his teacher that he struggles to wait his turn before shouting out answers in class. “He has started yelling out answers again. I love his excitement around what we are learning, but I want him to raise his hand first so others have a chance to think and answer as well. We are also having him work on not speaking to his neighbor (classmate) while the teacher is speaking.” I understand her feedback completely! Most of the thoughts he shares are usually in a loud and boisterous manor. I mean, can you blame him? He needs to speak over his sister, Ruby. She, as I have learned, has quite a mind of her own. And although she may not verbalize her thoughts as much as her brother, she has a “can do it spirit” and will go after what she wants without fear or caution. If she wants it, she’ll get it… now.
With that being said, how do we create space to think? How do we find time to slow down and reflect? Believe it or not, you have to plan it. It may not sound that exciting, but to create magic (Time for yourself!) you have to put it in your schedule. For me, I like to do this in the early morning before my children wake. I’ll be honest, this doesn’t always happen, but regardless of the obstacles, I keep scheduling it. I keep striving for it with the understanding that if it doesn’t happen today it’s okay. Patience, grace, and forgiveness. This is what I am striving for.
Today I found a moment to write! Mom win! Below is what I wrote based on my previous blog post. I hope you enjoy it and I hope you find time to slow down and reflect.
People are hungry for real, authentic communication and interactions. It’s amazing how quickly information is shared today and the quantity of it is overwhelming. If I were to guess, you probably have 40-60 unopened and most likely junk emails waiting for you.
Although we are bombarded with “junk” we still desire honesty. And we will seek it regardless of our limited time and attention. With that being said, I think it is important for us to bravely be honest not only with ourselves, but with others. When we respectfully open up it allows us to grow, learn, and change.
Some people are afraid of change. Some people are afraid of things that look or sound different to them. It’s normal to be cautious at first of things you are not familiar with, but you shouldn’t dismiss it simply because it’s new, difficult, different, or possibly in conflict with your original thinking. I always go back to this point, if you fully believe what you say you believe and you are confident in it you should be able to discuss the subject from all perspectives. Why are you so afraid to discuss something that may not be in-line with your thinking? Why will you not consider the information? Are you insecure of your findings? Do you think you can’t maintain composure in the face of opposition? Are you lacking confidence in your beliefs?
You, in and of yourself, are enough. There is nothing you need to prove or argue about. You know what else is true? Other people around you are enough too. Their thoughts, their view points, and their experiences have value too… just like yours.
And just like my son, although you may have the answer to a question or you have an insightful thought to add to the discussion, you don’t have to blurt out your response all the time. It’s called quiet confidence. You know yourself. You know you have what it takes. What is the harm in respecting others to share their findings before yours? I tell my son this all the time, “Not everything is a race, Kenton. It’s okay to take your time.” This statement holds true for you too.
I may not know you and I may have never met you before, but I know we all desire true, honest, and real relationships and information. I hope you can see a little of yourself in the above writing. I hope you know you are not alone in this world. And I hope you feel encouraged to strive for the best version of yourself because you are enough right now!
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