On the drive home from school after picking up my son, Kenton I heard from the backseat my daughter, Ruby yell at him, “YOU ARE SMART!” Next, her hand flew in the air as I saw one of her toys fly in the direction of her brother. The poor creature was catapulted with force and purpose. I quickly realized her outburst was in response to her older brother bugging her. Her words were intended as an insult rather than a compliment. Dodging the mini sized figurine his sister launched, Kenton busted out the biggest laugh and said, “Wow! Thanks Ruby!” “Oh, boy” was all I could say as I held back a laugh of my own. I then felt a wave of relief as I considered the many other responses she could have had.
Weeks prior to this episode I began saying to my two year old daughter, Ruby: “I am smart, brave, and beautiful!” She would repeat my words with enthusiasm. She is very good at saying “I am smart and brave,” but still struggles to pronounce ‘beautiful.’ Her little voice is so adorable to hear as she says this with pride. So you can only imagine how hilarious it was to hear her shout “You are smart” in an angry tone to her instigating sibling.
Once home the interaction that had just happened was all but forgotten. The two ran inside happily and I heard Ruby say, “Kenton, home!” He then gave her a big hug. Filled with pride in my two children, I thought back to their car ride interaction. Words. Words are important aren’t they? It’s how we communicate our thoughts and feelings to one another. But it’s not just the words we use, it’s how we use them. Our tone, our body language, and even the pauses we insert in the communication say so much. Language is a complicated thing and it says a lot about us in and how we choose to verbalize our thoughts.
All of us, even before we entered this world were students to language. According to research, unborn babies will start to hear sounds in their mother like her heartbeat around 18 weeks. And by 27 – 29 weeks (6 to 7 months), they can hear some sounds outside her body, such as her voice. When they are full term, they hear almost at the same level as an adult. For more information on this click here. But to understand language we have to first detect sound. Can you hear me now? It’s called Sound Symbolism and it’s defined as: “The perceptual similarity between speech sounds and concept meanings. It is a form of linguistic iconicity. For example, the English word ding may sound similar to the actual sound of a bell. Linguistic sound may be perceived as similar to not only sounds, but also to other sensory properties, such as size, vision, touch, or smell, or abstract domains, such as emotion or value judgment. Such correspondence between linguistic sound and meaning may significantly affect the form of spoken languages.” Wikipedia. It’s fascinating how all babies can learn any language they are exposed to. What’s least important is the actual words. Language is tone, pitch and inflection. They all work together to create meaning. It’s called Prosody – rhythm. “Prosody reflects the nuanced emotional features of the speaker or of their utterances: their obvious or underlying emotional state, the form of utterance (statement, question, or command), the presence of irony or sarcasm, certain emphasis on words or morphemes, contrast, and focus. Prosody displays elements of language that are not encoded by grammar, punctuation or choice of vocabulary.” Wikipedia. This is where our body language plays a big part in how we communicate with one another.
Okay, so I am getting a little in the weeds here, but isn’t language amazing? Clearly it’s so much more than simply speaking words to one another.
Before you and I took our first breathe we were learning language! We were learning how and when to communicate from our mothers and those closest to her. My eight and two year old communicate very differently and their communication is heavily based on their cognitive development. Although my son can communicate well for his age, he is still learning important parts of language. Such as when and how to use words. Some words sound the same, but are used in different ways. Although the meaning of one word may be defined in one way, it can be used in a sarcastic or hurtful tone. All of it communicates messages and all of it has meaning to how we will interpret and respond to it.
Our words, tone, pitch, and inflection all work together to create meaning. They all affect the receiver, but more then that they affect the one delivering it. Before a single sound leaves your mouth inward thoughts are forming. How you are feeling and interpreting the world around you will determine how and what you communicate. When I think of Ruby and her words, I hope that I can contribute positively to her internal and external communication. Like I mentioned earlier, she could learn any language she was exposed to. But she was given to me as my daughter. This is a responsibility I do not take lightly. I have the opportunity to speak life into her. How amazing and scary is that? My children are watching and hearing me every day. The words I use today will be building blocks for their language development tomorrow.
To better help us with this, below are some great tips on encouraging your little ones from Kidz Village.
Encouraging toddlers: As your child becomes a toddler, verbal encouragement will become more important. Offering positive attention will also help a child understand right from wrong without needing to put too much emphasis on the negatives. For example, you could:
- Thank your child when they help you. It will be even more effective if you use a positive tone of voice at the same time.
- When your child wants to show you something, bend down to their level to show that you are interested.
- Give your child time to reply and ask questions after you have said something to them.
Encouraging children of school age: Naturally, as children go to school, they will start making their own friends. Other people, such as teachers will begin to have more of an influence on their development. However, the encouragement that they receive from parents is just as important. You can offer support by:
- Taking the time to ask and listen about their day. They might be tired as soon as they get home, so you could wait until they have settled down before asking any questions. Make sure you respond positively as this will encourage them to tell you more in future.
- Ask questions or make comments about what your child says. It shows that you are interested and encourages greater interaction.
- If your child tells you about something that they enjoyed or a positive interaction with another pupil or teacher, this should be met by positivity from you. Show enthusiasm and offer praise where relevant.
- If your child tells you something incorrect about their day, it may be best just to leave it. Correcting them may be seen as being negative and might dissuade them from talking openly with you in future.
Leave a Reply