Joy To Everyone

Christmas is never really over because it’s something we carry within ourselves. We are the magic and without us, it doesn’t happen.

Every year after Christmas I like to take inventory of my holiday experience. I ask myself questions like: How am I feeling after the celebration? What surprised me? What new things did I learn? Is there anything I would do differently? Checking in with yourself is more beneficial than I could express. And it’s especially needed around the holiday season because, as we know, with the holidays comes many emotions. Not just ours, but your partners, your dependents, your family, and anyone else that plays a role in your life. It’s the people that make the holidays come alive and their influence colors and shapes it every year.

On my phone I like to use the Notes app. Periodically I’ll use it to quickly jot down information I want to return to or remember for later. I especially like to use it when my kids are distracting me or pulling my attention away from a thought I am having. I’ll quickly type in words or phrases that will, hopefully spark my memory to dig deeper at a later time. If you’re anything like me, my thoughts quickly get replaced by new thoughts throughout the day so having this tool really helps. Aren’t our minds simply amazing? They recycle information so quickly in an effort to process the constant impute we are receiving. Our mind’s overall purpose is to keep us sane, safe, and healthy!

As I began to write today, I looked at my notes from December. Most included date reminders, recipe tips, and favorite Christmas song titles. One note, however stuck out to me. It simply and only said, Acceptance. I checked the date, and it was typed a few days before Christmas. “What was I doing that day?” I asked myself. Grabbing my calendar, I was grateful to myself for keeping a leather-bound calendar book. For me, it’s almost like a mini journal. Besides writing appointment reminders and to-do lists, I’ll jot down how the day turned out and list anything I considered memorable. These little reminders help me memorialize a day I will never live again but will inevitably be influenced by.

On the day I wrote Acceptance it wasn’t what happened that day that prompted me to type it, but the day prior. The day prior I made a trip to a town from my past, Celina, Ohio. Although this wasn’t the city I lived in growing up, it is located near my hometown, and as a young girl I spent much time there. On this specific visit, I met with my mom, two sisters, and two nieces for coffee and lunch at two locations that were new to me. Our time together was overall positive. We spoke about our upcoming Christmas plans, memories from childhood, and any struggles we are currently experiencing with our kids. While we spoke, I took note of my actions and words. I wanted everyone to enjoy themselves, to participate, to feel safe to connect. On my drive home, however I found myself feeling dissatisfied. As I struggled to understand where this disapproval was coming from, I realized I was disappointed only in myself. I didn’t like my performance from the afternoon. Key word being- performance. Writing this embarrasses me, but I hope my vulnerability will allow more of us to honestly reveal ourselves. The more I self-reflected, the more I realized I was the one in the wrong. My focus was off. Rather than simply being present and enjoying the moment, I was yet again trying to make the moment about myself. I wanted to control the experience for my own selfish interests and insecurities. The moment wasn’t about me. The moment was about accepting others for who they are. For whom they want to be. For whom they choose to reveal. Pushing and manipulating for a result I only want is hurtful and selfish to everyone involved. It is inauthentic and self-seeking. In my effort to control I missed what the whole purpose was from our time together. It was about the precious lives around me. What if what they gave that day was exactly what they wanted to give? And what if their experience was nothing but positive? My role in life is not to control others, but to allow them to be who and what they want to be.

Let’s take it one step further. What if I simply accepted myself for who and what I was? What if I accepted me with no conditions or expectations attached? Would my story be different? Would the picture I present look different? One thing is true, it would be more authentic. It would reveal a precious life simply living. A life not free of mistakes or faults, but a life that accepts what is and keeps moving forward. You can fully accept others for who they are. But when you choose to withhold acceptance, tolerance, and understanding for yourself you are not fully connecting with yourself. When you disconnect yourself from reality you lose the ability to see yourself for who you are.

Accepting others is a powerful thing, but it’s even more powerful when we choose to accept ourselves! As I reflect on my Christmas experience, I am grateful for the moments lived. My time with my family was meaningful and special because we gave ourselves permission to honor what we wanted for the celebration. We set boundaries for ourselves and remained true to our desires. We did not schedule or plan additional events out of a sense of requirement or expectation. We lived up to our desire as a family of four. This Christmas filled me with love and laughter. It inspired me to embrace the life I have and encouraged me to keep on protecting it. As I think about beginning this new year, I want to work on accepting myself more. I will do this by trusting and believing in myself. I’ve come to understand I’ve lacked the awareness to see that what I possess is enough and to see myself for who and what I am. There is a lack of self-acceptance that needs to be rebuilt. Now that I realize this deficiency I can begin to work on it. This is a goal of mine and one I look forward to exploring more in the coming year.

What goals do you have for 2025? I’d love to hear what you are working on!

One special Christmas tradition my family and I have done for the past four years is make Figgy Pudding for our Christmas dinner. Growing up, this was not a tradition my parents did, but I was always curious as to how the dessert tasted when watching Charles Dickens, A Christmas Carol. Having never made this dish, I spent a few days researching and watching videos on how to create it. I pulled pieces from a few recipes, and wrote the one you will see below. I am proud to say, I think it is my best one yet! I hope you try it and enjoy it!

“In half a minute Mrs. Cratchit entered- flushed, but smiling proudly with the pudding, like a speckled cannonball, so hard and firm, blazing in half of half-a-quarter of ignited brandy, and bedight with Christmas holly stuck into the top. “Oh, a wonderful pudding.” Bob Cratchit said, and calmly too, that he regarded it as the greatest success achieved by Mrs. Cratchit since their marriage.” Charles Dickens, A Christmas Carol.

Figgy Pudding

Ingredients:

• 1 cup dried Turkish figs, chopped evenly into small cubes
• 1/2 cup dried cranberries
• 1/2 cup dried cherries
• 2 cups stale breadcrumbs, chopped evenly into small cubes
• 1 cup flour
• 1/2 tsp baking powder
• 1 cup brown sugar, packed
• 1 tbsp fresh orange peel, finely grated
• 1 tsp ground cinnamon
• 1/2 tsp ground nutmeg
• 1/4 tsp ground ginger
• 3 eggs
• 1/2 cup salted butter, softened

Instructions:

In a double boiler pot, fill it just below the holding tray with water and bring it to a low boil. In a large mixing bowl combine all of your ingredients and mix thoroughly. In a smaller bowl cut a circle out of parchment paper the same diameter as the base of the bowl in the center. The parchment paper will help prevent the pudding getting stuck to the base. Next, coat the inside of the bowl with coconut oil. Once your bowl is coated pack your batter firmly into the bowl creating a solid half circle. Firmly cover your bowl with tin foil and place the bowl into the double boiler. Cover your bowl with the pot lid, leaving one area open for the steam to release as it cooks. Cook your pudding for four hours at a low simmer. Every hour check on your water bath and add additional water as it evaporates. Once done cooking, remove the bowl from the boiler and allow it to rest and cool for 10-20 minutes. Gently guide the pudding out of the bowl onto a serving tray. Drizzle brandy over the top of the pudding right before serving and ignite it with a flame. Allow the alcohol to burn off before sprinkling the pudding with powdered sugar. Serve the figgy pudding warm. Enjoy!