It’s here! Our final chapter in 2024 has officially arrived! This morning the rain rolled in. I could hear the raindrops hitting my window from inside my bedroom as I sat on my bed with my journal, 2024 planner, and 2025 planner. My coffee sat beside me on my nightstand and two warm candles filled the space with gentle light. Two big chapters laid upon my lap. The one had already been written, and the other one still remained unknown.
What was doesn’t have to be what will, but it’s needed to create the future. As I look back on 2024, I worked tirelessly to write my story in the narrative I chose and desired. I wanted to re-write my story and have full control of what that image looked like. I focused on a future mindset… always striving for growth and development. Although it is important to focus on growth, as I reflect today, I’ve come to the realization that I put too much emphasis on a “perfect image.” If my story did not live up to what I aspired to I was disappointed only in myself. By not meeting a mark I set for myself, it caused me to feel dissatisfied. This dissatisfaction in performance didn’t stop me, however. It only fueled me to push harder the next day. This constant desire to improve was my life. Never resting. Never stopping. Never simply being. As I write today, I see the image I was creating was unrealistic and unattainable. I was never going to achieve something that was both unattainable and unrealistic.
Although it is important to stive for growth, you can’t experience growth without accepting your past and present. Your past and present is a part of your story and like every story, it needs a beginning. What if where you are is enough? What if your present story is enough? Why are you constantly trying to change a story that is enough? Can you accept what is and allow it to be? No fear. No shame. Just simply your reality.
For 2025 I am challenging myself to accept my story. I am working on a mindset that is realistic in expectations and accepting of the results. One where I am inspired to simply live now. Inhale! Exhale! What you possess is enough. Don’t worry about tomorrow. Today is what matters. Focus on what you realistically have control over and allow what is not within your control to simply be. It’s okay to be okay. It’s okay to be you. You don’t have to perform. You don’t have to create a better story. You simply must be because that is your true story.
Happy New Year!
1/01/2025 The first day of the year! Let me tell you, although I woke exhausted, I couldn’t help but feel a sense of anticipation at the thought of a new beginning. On this specific morning, I spent it with my husband. Laying side by side on our bed, lights still off, kids still sleeping upstairs, the only noise breaking the silence was our two voices sharing our hearts. We shared our worries, insecurities, and hopes with one another. Apologies and tears followed as we connected in a way we haven’t done in a very long time. I won’t speak for my husband, but the theme of my communication was fear. I’d like to write I was full of hope as I thought of this coming year, but that would be a lie. As I spoke, I realized I carry much fear on my shoulders. Fear of not being enough for my family. Fear of change that I know is both coming and needed for growth. Fear of the unknown. Do I have what it takes? The fear I was trying to hide poured out of me that morning. Rather than providing a list of suggestions to “fix it,” my spouse allowed me to speak freely. He simply listened. He simply gave me space to share. This is what I needed. I’ve said this to him before, but when I share my troubles with you, I am not asking for your words of wisdom. I am simply asking you to listen to me. Trust me, if I wanted your advice, I’d ask for it. Thankfully, on this morning I felt heard and validated. I needed this time with him. I needed to be honest in both my hopes and worries.
2025 is here whether you are ready for it or not. You might be hitting the ground running right now and if you are, I want to applaud you! Get after it and get what is yours! But if you can relate to my experience above, just know it is okay. There is no shame here! And it’s okay to feel scared. It’s okay to be worried. Guess what? You are human! You are allowed to experience fear, frustration, sadness… fill in the blank! Your feelings are valid! And you should have the space and freedom to share them. For the year ahead, let’s challenge ourselves to share more of those feelings. Let’s challenge ourselves to remove our perfect mask and reveal what is under it. Because what is under it is priceless. You are priceless and your experience is priceless. I might be scared, but I am not afraid to admit it. I will boldly and openly step into this new year with all of my emotions and trust that they will guide me in the days ahead. I can and will do things that will scare me. I might not get it right 100% of the time, but I am not going to allow my worries or insecurities to stop me from moving forward.
Let’s go!
Joy
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