A season of rest! We all need it whether we want to admit it or not. While driving with my daughter, Ruby she asked me where the flowers had gone as she looked through the car window at the snow on the ground. I told her the ground was resting right now, but the flowers would return again in the spring. “Once the temperature rises and the snow melts, the flowers will return.” I said this with excitement at the thought of warmer days. The truth is, as I thought further on our drive, if you want beautiful flowers to grow you must first allow the soil to replenish and renourish. Without healthy soil a plant will have difficulty growing in it. Even dirt needs rest. Even dirt needs to be healthy if it wants to produce life.
Is it time for your winter? Is it time for you to rest? Are you in need of nourishment? A time to rebuild and refocus? If you’re anything like me, you probably needed to do this a while ago.
Today my son returned to school after winter break. With the recent snowfall we received, his break was extended slightly. Upon arriving at school for drop off, he wasn’t thrilled to be returning, but I knew he’d be grateful to get back once the routine of the day began. Isn’t it funny how we can resent and resist beginning something, even something we enjoy, simply because we are out of practice? It’s like our bodies get stuck in a certain state. Even welcomed changes can feel uncomfortable to us. When this happens the best thing to do is push through the uncomfortable and trust that the other side will give you a positive, healthy boost. The more you train your mind to welcome the “pain” the more adaptable it will become.
Change, even desired change can be hard, but the more you do it the less scary it becomes. Writing this reminded me of a conversation I had with my son over his break. Sitting a crossed from me at a small table in a coffee shop he asked me how you can break a bad habit. His inquisitive question surprised me as I reflected on the thought that more of us should be asking ourselves this very question. I looked at him and told him I felt like the best way to do this is by replacing the less desirable behavior with a more positive one. “Here’s an example for you Kenton. If you have a habit of eating a candy bar every day after school and you decide you want to stop doing this, you could begin by replacing the candy bar with something healthier like a protein bar or an apple.” Because you have taught yourself triggers – every day after school I eat a candy bar – you subconsciously reach for it. The triggers set off responses in your mind that creates the craving for the action you are doing. If you can change the thing you are reaching for with something healthier, you will soon wean yourself off the habit. It’s called learned responses – it’s a reaction we have through acquired learning. By becoming aware of our triggers, we can modify them in a way that meets our goals. “Change is hard Kenton, even good change. But you can make it feel better by making little changes. If you continue to replace the candy bar with other things eventually you won’t crave it anymore and you’ll look back and think to yourself – remember when I ate a candy bar every day? I can’t believe I did that!”
Believe it or not, you are NOT a slave to your thoughts or actions. You are not a mindless being traveling through time and space. You can train your mind to think differently, to break unneeded habits or unhealthy responses to life. You are more than what you have become, and you can change your tomorrow if you push yourself to break through undesirable habits of today.
For me, the best way to become more self-aware of my current situation is by resting. Remember when I said we all need a winter to rest and replenish? This is what I am talking about. Slow down. Refocus. Recharge. Do something only for yourself today. At the beginning of this post, I also mentioned my daughter asking about the flowers outside. In true toddler conversation form, her next comment to me was, “I love me Mommy! I hug myself!” Glancing back at her through my rearview mirror, I saw my sweet girl wrapping her two little arms around herself. Smiling up at me with her bright blue eyes, her smile brightened her already beautiful face. “Aww! I love that, Ruby! It is important to love ourselves,” I said with gratitude at my three-year-old that inspires me to see and say things differently.
It’s currently winter where I live. Snow covers the landscape in a beautiful blanket of white. The season we are currently in will not always be. Soon the temperature outside will increase, and the snow will be a thing of the past. Rather than hoping for something different – warmer days – focus on the present season. What can you learn from this winter? What areas of your life need replenishing? Focus on today. Tomorrow will worry about itself.
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