What story are you telling yourself right now? Whether you realize it or not, you are talking to yourself. You’re sending messages to yourself about what you’re seeing, feeling, and experiencing. Many of those messages are learned responses after years of repetition. Our minds are powerful, and they are always looking for shortcuts—ways to make things easier and faster.
Today, I realized I was believing a lie. What I thought I was doing was not serving me in the best way. I was losing what made me me. I was forgetting to show up for myself in ways that were both healthy and beneficial to my personal growth journey.
For the past month and a half, I stopped my daily yoga practice. The mental and physical discipline I held for myself gradually fell to the wayside as I filled that space with other things I thought held greater precedence. I see now that they did not. And although those things were not necessarily wrong, they weren’t what I needed in that moment to remain grounded in myself.
The second discipline I let go of was my writing. “I just don’t have enough time,” I’d say to myself. How many times have you said this as you run to put out yet another figurative fire? You were not meant to live a half-life. You were not meant to live on the edge of anxiety and complete implosion. You are so much more than that, and your story is bigger and better than what you are currently allowing to happen.
Did you catch that? I said allowing it to happen. This implies there is a choice. But how can there be a choice when things feel so out of our control?
This past week, I had the greatest privilege of speaking with a now-friend who has written a book that deeply inspired and encouraged me. She reached out after I shared a story about reading her book, and I couldn’t believe she wanted to connect with me. A month prior, a work colleague had gifted me her book after recognizing that the way I was communicating was not serving me in the highest way.
I am so grateful for that gift—and for the opportunity to reclaim my authentic self.
As I virtually sat across from this author, I already felt like I knew her. Her authenticity—both in her writing and in her words that afternoon—made me feel safe to openly share. She offered her wisdom and ongoing learning with humility and kindness. She reminded me of my power and my voice.
“You have a voice, and it needs to be heard. But if you don’t share it with confidence and boldly stand in your words, even the best messages can be missed.”
In that moment, I realized I wasn’t using my own voice. I was speaking, but what came out was a version of myself I thought I needed to be. I was trying to fit into something that wasn’t me. I was wearing a mask I thought others wanted to see.
Do you know what happens when you do this? You devalue yourself. You become disconnected from your true self.
Once again, the story I was telling myself was a lie: If I present myself this way, I will be better liked and received.
But what about simply showing up as Joy? She’s pretty great too. Remember her? Remember waking up for her? Remember making time and space for her? When you give to yourself first, you are then able to give to others.
The second part of the lie I believed was that I needed to hold back in order to conserve my energy, peace, and power. The opposite is true. When you allow yourself to humbly and boldly pour into others, you receive so much more in return.
As you give, you receive—because what you are offering is life-giving. The love and energy you share fills the receiver, and in return, they fill you up. It’s a beautiful ripple effect. Don’t believe the lie that if you give freely, you will have nothing left. Give, and you will receive.
Today, as I write, I take a breath of gratitude and encouragement. I am grateful for the opportunity to reflect and for the reminder to remain true to myself.
So I ask you: What story are you telling yourself? What lies have you slowly begun to believe? Pause and look inward.
Writing, for me, is one way I do this. It forces me to slow down and put into words what has been swirling around my mind. It helps me make sense of confusion by placing it outside of myself. Once it’s out, it frees up space and allows me to see things more clearly.
When you do this, I promise new ideas and insights will come.
Lastly, don’t lose your voice. Don’t turn down the volume, because the message you carry is mighty. Keep showing up for yourself. Fight the fear that tries to pull you back. Freely give to others in ways that are meaningful to you.
There is never a shortage of goodness when you are willing to both receive it and give it. When you give what you are hoping to receive, you’ll find your fuel. It’s contagious. Goodness and grace are never in short supply when you boldly share them.
Looking for a great resource?
Unapologetic: A Journey to Living Boldly, Loving Fiercely, and Being Nothing but Yourself by Cassy Williamson is a beautiful place to start.
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