Reflection improves performance. Taking time to think is productive, not passive.
Have you ever heard the saying, “I need a vacation after my vacation”? What this phrase is trying to say is that we need a time of rest after a trip that was jam-packed with fun. My family and I recently went on a trip to Orlando, FL, for quite literally a jam-packed Disney-inspired vacation. There were water parks, theme parks, magical experiences, and fireworks that filled my heart with some of our family’s favorite moments together. To say we had a great time would be an understatement. But because of the sheer volume of everything we did, saw, and experienced, I felt like I had whiplash from the whole adventure. I simply needed a moment to slow down and reflect.
Today, I carved out time for just that. I woke up early, flowed through my yoga routine, and began to write. I focused my mind on the present, and every time it wanted to wander to thoughts beyond the moment, I reminded myself that this time was set aside for reflection on our recent adventure. By setting aside time for a specific purpose, I was able to focus because I had a clear vision for the moment. If you find yourself struggling to focus when quieting your mind, try writing down your goal before your scheduled reflection time and return to it whenever your thoughts begin to wander.
As I reflected, I thought a lot about summer and what summer means to me. If you were to ask me what my favorite season is, I would say summer every time! Growing up in Ohio, our summers never usually got unbearably hot, so the warmth of the sun on an August day was simply the best. As a kid living in the country, I would spend my entire day outside playing in the woods, swimming in the pond, and spending time at friends’ and family’s houses. The only times I’d run inside were to use the restroom or grab something to eat before returning once again to my happy place—outside.
Today, as I watch my two children grow and experience their own summers, I do not feel the need to recreate what I experienced or ensure they have a similar childhood. Instead, I look at them and ask, What is it that they need? What is it that they enjoy? It’s tempting as a parent to feel pressure to perform or create experiences for our children that we think we should provide. The way we were raised and the experiences we had growing up heavily influence these thoughts. But you are more than your past, and what has been done once does not have to be repeated. It’s a new day and a new life.
With that being said, I do sometimes feel an unrealistic expectation to recreate past summer experiences I shared with my children.
This summer will be the first time I’ve worked full-time outside of the home in five years.
For the past five years, when Kenton was on summer break, we’d spend our mornings following a consistent schedule and routine. I personally need the structure of a schedule for my own sanity, satisfaction, and productivity—mama’s got to get stuff done! Monday through Friday, I’d keep my children’s wake-up time the same: 7:00 a.m. Wake up, get dressed, and eat breakfast. By 8:00 a.m., we’d leave for swim practice. Next came errands, lunch, and then 30 minutes of either reading or math for Kenton and craft time for Ruby. After that, we’d tackle any remaining chores or make a plan for when we’d complete them later.
I always followed the rule my parents taught me: work first, play later.
Once our “duties” were complete, the rest of the day was open for interpretation. I intentionally kept our afternoons and early evenings flexible so my children could have the freedom to choose. Oftentimes, we’d find ourselves playing pickleball, making a splash at the pool, exploring a park or splash pad, or searching for crawdads in the creek. Unrushed. Unscheduled. Summer afternoons.
This summer, although I’m working full-time, it doesn’t feel quite as different as I expected. Our morning and evening routines remain the same. What is different is the middle part of the day. Each family member has their own place to be and their own experiences to enjoy. The learning opportunities we’re being exposed to are different—they’re customized for each of us. It’s a natural fit for the natural progression of life. My kids are simply growing up—a fact I keep reminding myself of.
As I write, I remind myself that today is a new day, and any activities we enjoyed in the past can be recreated if they make sense for this present moment. I can’t hold on to something that is no longer there. And that’s okay.
What is needed, however, is intentional living and planning. By acknowledging the stage of life we’re in and setting aside time on our calendars for the things we want to share together, everything can happen. Why? Because when you’re honest with yourself and intentionally plan, your calendar becomes more thoughtfully prepared. I would even argue it becomes more meaningful because the time and intention are there. And when you do this, your appreciation increases because you understand what it takes to make those moments happen.
Do you want to live a mindful, intentional life? I know I do.
It begins with letting yesterday be what it was, becoming aware of the present moment, setting realistic expectations and goals for yourself, planning for those goals, and finally, enjoying the present. Soak it all in because, as I’ve heard so often from parents with older children, it goes by too fast.
Summer is a time to thrive, not stress.
How do you de-stress and live in the moment?
Looking for a great place to write, read, or simply slow down for a bit?
Birdie Books in Uptown Westerville is the perfect blend of cozy café and charming bookstore. With its welcoming atmosphere, handcrafted coffee, and delicious pastries, it’s an ideal spot to settle in with a good book, work on your next writing project, or enjoy a quiet moment to yourself.
Reading may be highly encouraged, but the coffee and pastries are reason enough to keep coming back for more.
Have you visited Birdie Books yet?
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